No, It's Not Tonight
by DashboardForCutie24
Summary: Liley. Lily and Miley have been together for three years. They live in L.A.. Their relationship is on the rocks. They're trying to repair their love to what it was.
1. From Home

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, if I did things would be a little different.

So here's the summary:

Lily and Miley have been together for three years. They live together in an apartment/condo in Los Angeles. Lily is currently in college and working for Nike LA. Miley is well, Hannah Montana. This is their relationship road to recovery.

If you can listen to Peter Bjorn and John- Up Against The Wall , while reading I feel it adds to a better reading experience. It's free on the U tube lol.

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Lily sat on the last seat in one of the few remaining un-nightclubbed bars in L. wore skinny jeans with a white tank and tight black leather jacket. She looked like a lost puppy in the crowd of muscle men and built up girls. Her blonde locks all pushed to the left side of her head, her elbow propped up on the counter for her left hand to hold her head up, and her right hand on the Heineken bottle in front of her. She stared off into open space occasionally taking her hand off the bottle to check her phone. She chugs the last remaining drink of her beer, takes money from her pocket puts it on the counter, and leaves for home.

_Guess I should have caught your call_

_But I just had to waste the phone forget it all_

_Bones are trembling hands are cold_

_You don't know how it feels you've got me up against the wall_

Miley sits with her friends in a nightclub. They're sitting on a cushioned seat in VIP, and their gossip doesn't concern her at all. Her blonde wig can't make her smile and hearing her song chopped into a bass medley gives her no closure. She wears a short skirt with a backless silky maroon top. Young, rich, and good-looking sitting in a club of people all alone. Her mind is obviously somewhere else as she picks up her drink. The music and drinks make her feel good while she wishes she had some one, some one at home.

_Maybe we could make this work_

_But now you start to leave before it's getting worse_

_I don't know what you came here for_

_It's almost that I wish we hadn't met at all_

Lily walks in her building, taking the stairs, to avoid the drunks, to the third floor. She gets to the door, takes out the lone key from her pocket, opens the door and enters. She turns on the lights to reveal the perfectly coordinated living room. She heads toward the kitchen where free stuff that wasn't hers laid in boxes around the counters. She places the lone key and her cell phone on the counter. Takes a glass and fills it with tap while she takes a seat next to the counter. Her eyes fall on the black marbled counter tops until she hears the door open.

_You slap just like a wake-up call_

_The bruises on the face don't bother me at all_

_Bones are trembling hands are cold_

_It's almost that I wish you had me up against the wall_

Miley opens the door and tosses her wig on the floor. She gets across the living room and turns off the lights before she gets to the kitchen. She finds Lily at the counter drinking water. They spot each other and their eyes are no longer lost. Miley puts her bag down next to Lily's glass. The smaller blonde stands and walks toward her. Lily wraps her arms around Miley's back while the brunette wraps around Lily's neck. The embrace lasts and the two part slightly from each other. Worn smiles adorn their tired faces. Lily moves stray hairs from Miley's face. Miley takes control and kisses the blonde with much needed passion. Their kiss becomes an apology and a reconnection as they push towards their bedroom. They loved being home, and maybe that's what would save them.

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Kind of tried something new. There will eventually be dialogue, but I just felt this would be a nice opener.

Tell me what ye think.


	2. Where To Start

Four Months Previous:

Every month, like another unfortunate time clock, Lilly was subjected to attend a formal dinner with Miley, Robbie Ray Stewart and his fiancé Giana La Meglia. The dinner was always on the 15th at seven on the dot.

Lilly:

6:30

Shit. Shit. Shit. I glance at the clock on the wall. 6:30. Shit.

So much for alarm clocks, naps, and watching that House marathon. I pick up my phone to see that it is dead. Shit.. I run into the bedroom to find my charger. I search the dresser. Where are you? I move my pajamas from the corner. Come on. I reach under the bed. Please, please, please. What is that? I pull out a broken picture frame. I sit on the floor and take the picture out. It was me and Miley in Spain for our two year anniversary. (The picture shows Miley looking into the camera while Lilly kisses her cheek while you can see the Spanish countryside.) It was just one of those cheesy couple photos that made you smile and get sad at the same time. Good time. No, great time. Phone Charger! No, get ready!

I take maybe a one-minute shower and quickly put on my black, strapless. knee length dress and brush my hair. I put the front of my hair in a poof and get some mascara on my eyes. A spritz of perfume and a pair of black high heels in my hand.

6:50. And it takes twenty minutes to get to that restarant. Five to park. And my car is in the shop.

I look at the counter, Miley's Mercedes keys. Be late get yelled at or be late and nobody talks to you the whole time, whatever this is going to suck either way. I grab the keys.

I slip my flops on, grab my bag with my shoes in my right hand, and head into the parking garage. You think Hannah Montana could get some Valet service? I get to her car, sit down, and start the two-door beauty.

Please god, don't let me ruin this car.

Miley:

6:50

I must of called Lilly and our place eight times. I try her cell but it must be dead or off because I just keep getting, "This is Lilly, drop your verse." Beep.

Please don't be late. As I stand on the sidewalk in front of the restaurant.

7:15

A very familiar black two door, Mercedes-benz convertible, pulls into Valet. I watch the blonde get out until I notice its Lilly and walk over. I can hear her say, "Could you please be like, super careful, just like ye know take your time" she says to the Valet guy who just walks around the car and gets in. "Okay, BE SAFE!" she says loudly as he pulls around into the garage. She puts on her heels and slips her flops into her bag.

I walk in front of her.

"Hey….baby, Look I was…"

"No, I don't care what you were doing, but you ARE fifteen minutes late. What happened? I thought you had the doctors at three." I say with next to little compassion.

"I did, but I was tired, I had two final exams today!"

"Why didn't you set an alarm?"

"I did but my phone died. How can I wake up to a dead phone?"

"That's not my problem." I say as Lilly scratches her head. "You should've at least…"

"There you are Miles." My dad says as me and Lilly turn to face him. "Lilly" Lilly nods.

He looks at his watch,"Late but ye know what? It doesn't matter, we're all here now and we can just eat our dinner." We smile fakely at him and walk inside. Please be easy on Lilly, please. Giana, the wannabe mom, is already sitting at the table when we get to it. My dad pushes my chair in, while Lilly pushes herself in.

The waiter comes over and asks for our drink request. My dad like always orders us a bottle of one of their finest wines. Before she walks away Lilly pulls her aside and says, "Excuse me, can a bottle of Heineken?" The waiter nods and walks away.

"What's wrong with American beers?" my dad asks Lilly as I hope Lilly doesn't play right into his game.

"Nothing, just felt like a Heineken." She says looking back down at the menu.

"Lilly, what are you studying again?" I know exactly where he's going with this so before Lilly responds I cut in, "Accounting, the test is next week right?" I finish the question looking at Lilly.

"Yeah" she says her eyes staying on the menu.

Our drinks come to the table, and out of the corner of my eye I see Lilly take a rather large gulp. Cheers to the night.

_An hour and forty five minutes later. _

Lilly is beyond drunk, but is just quiet to avoid the wrath and guilt of my father's words. The night, overall, was one of our better dinners. The food was good, Lilly and I didn't fight in front of my dad, Lilly and my dad didn't almost physically fight, Giana kept her homophobic religious words to herself, probably cause she didn't drink, and dessert was almost over. Check, please.

My dad and Giana start whispering to each other as I take this opportunity to talk to Lilly.

"We're almost out of here, twenty minutes tops, sound good?" I say touching her arm.

"Can we never do this ever again?" I look at her, "No?" she finishes her tenth, no exaggeration, tenth Heineken and let's out an,"Awesome." I turn my attention back to my dad and Giana.

I catch Giana saying, "we should tell them".

"Tell us what?" I ask.

"Well, we were gonna wait to tell you and your brother together but…" he smiles gently at Giana, "but I think we could tell ye now."

Giana speaks up with the largest smile, "I'm pregnant!" Before my emotions even capture that statement my face turns into a deer in head lights. Wait? What?

Lilly starts laughing. She just keeps laughing until she notices every one staring at her. She settles herself and says "You weren't joking?…No?.. …" She looks at Giana. "…congrats" she whispers out. She goes back to laughing to herself. "Cougar time". Giana gets up and leaves and my dad follows her but not without turning back to give me that 'Why are you with her?' face I'm all too used to.

We pay the bill, like usual, and go out to Valet.

I give valet a tip and take the drivers seat. Lilly plops her self into the passenger seat.

The ride back is silent. We've park in the garage.

"Miley…" Lilly says rubbing her head.

"It's one night Lilly! One night, and you show up late, take my car, get smash, and make my dad leave."

"Make your dad leave? Even if I didn't speak at all and some how came into money your dad would still leave."

"What does money have to do with it?"

"Money's everything, Miley. Come on. Even I feel like your charity case sometimes." She says looking down at the floor mats.

The words hurt more than she knew. I turn off the car. I look at her.

"Wait you think I'm with you 'cause you don't have money?"

"What!?! No. Sometimes, I feel like you think I'm with you because you have money." I can't even respond I'm so upset.

I get out and slam the door and walk towards the elevator. I hear Lilly run after me.

"Miley, come on." I get into the elevator and Lilly follows. She tries to take my hand in hers. I quickly take my hand away.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean..." she pleas.

"Just sometimes Lilly, I'd like you to just consider how I feel before you say things." I say harshly. The door opens on our floor and I walk quickly to the door and get my keys out.

"Miley, you know that's not the case. I love you." I open the door. We walk in and Lilly locks up as I walk to our bedroom. I hear her footsteps stop in the doorway. I stand in front of my dresser and take off my earrings. I slip off my shoes.

"Miley."

I look at her. "I'm sorry. I just want you to still love me even if everybody else gives you reasons not to." Lilly turns around and heads back toward the kitchen.

I take of my dress and slip into my pajamas and sit on the edge of the bed looking towards the doorway. She returns with a sad face and bottle of water. She goes to speak.

"Don't." I say putting my hand up.

"Miley, what? You take me to this every month and expect…" she says.

I stand up and face her, "Expect what, Lilly?! Is it a crime for me to want you and my dad to get along?" I ask defeated.

"A crime? Miley this is like our, What? Eight hundredth time doing this." She lowers her voice. "We don't get along, he hates me, he thinks I'm like the worst person you could ever be with." We just stand there, facing each other.

What can I say? Yeah that sounds right. He does not like Lilly, never did. He thinks I should be with a good Christian boy, emphasis on the boy.

She knows it's the truth and so do I. "Miley…I don't want to fight. I'm sorry for tonight and everything", she says stepping closer to me. "Just don't be mad at me." she says putting my arms around her neck.

Just looking into those eyes make me feel like the world is at peace and that nothing could ever be better than this.

"...I'm just…exhausted." I say

"I'm shorter than you" she says as a small joke. It makes me smile.

"I feel like we're going to start middle school dancing." She says smilingly. She says referring to me having my arms around her neck. I take my hands away from her neck and cup her face in my hands and kiss her.

Sparks still fly, my heart still explodes, and I'm still in love with Lilly Truscott.

The next morning:

Lily POV:

I wake knowing no one will be on the other side of the bed. We haven't woke up together in months. The cool sheets and the pale green of the walls were all I woke to. I yawn and place my feet on the cold ground.

I walk to the kitchen to see the back of Robby Ray Stewart on the phone, I looked back to see the bathroom door closed. F. I turn and head back to the bedroom and bump into Miley. She smiles and kisses me gently. "Good morning."

"Morning." I say. She looks at me and knows exactly why I was heading back towards our room. She takes my hand, "Let me make you breakfast."

Before I can contest, she drags me into the kitchen. Robby Ray turns around. "Miley, Davis said the duet is on and Enrique will be in next week."

"He signed on?" she asks smilingly taking eggs and the bread over to the counter. Miley looked all business today. Straight dark blue knee length skirt, a cute white blouse with short sleeves. Her heels made her about 6 inches taller then me and her hair was wavy and beautiful. I'm guessing she was going to some meeting about her new album.

"Yeah. Apparently he loves the new Hannah to Miley cross over." He says putting his phone away sitting a seat away from me at the counter. I hate the awkward hate going on right now, but it was worth it for the breakfast Miley makes. So good.

"Did you come up with a name for the album yet?" I ask running my hand through my hair.

She whisks the eggs, "I was thinking either…"she looks at me lifting the bread, "Do you want toast?"

"That doesn't sound good." I say confused.

"You don't want toast? She asks.

"I do want toast if that's what you want." They both look at me.

"She's asking you if you would like toast with your eggs." He states like I'm an idiot.

"Yes, please." I say dipping my head low. Stupid. Oh, Do you want toast? Oh, Lilly could you not be such a disappointment.

"You were saying Miles?" he says disappointed.

"I was actually thinking of naming it 'There Was Something To Say'." She says placing the finished eggs on a plate.

"I like it." He says smiling at Miley. She turns to me. "Do you like it Lil?" she says putting my plate filled with sausage, light toast, scrambled eggs and a tall glass of orange juice.

"I think it's really good." I say as she places the ketchup in front of me. Wait. Why is she being so nice to me? I fuck up dinner and get a perfect Miley breakfast. Something's up.

"Are you packed yet, Miles?" her dad asks. I look at Miley to see what she's packing for. She didn't tell me anything any more any way.

"Dad, can you get my bags from the guest room?" she asks nervously, then puts the pans in the sink.

"Sure bud." He says smiling walking into the hallway. I look at her.

"So, where are you going?" I ask looking down at my untouched breakfast.

"I meant to tell you. It was last minute. I have to go to Nashville for the new album." She says cleaning the spatula.

I just stare at my plate. She walks in front of me. It hurt every time. Every time she forgot to mention a trip, a late night at the studio, clubbing with good-looking actors. Did she not know that?

"It's only for five days." She says trying to get my eyes to lift. "I'll be back on Thursday." She says trying to make it seem like five days is better than any amount possible. She doesn't care, why should I?

My eyes just look at the perfectly seasoned eggs, perfectly seared sausage links, and perfectly almost dark buttered toast.

Everything is perfect.

"You're mad. I get it. Lilly, but…" she starts her please don't be mad at me speech. I should be one to talk.

I look up into her eyes. She stops speaking. "I don't care and you don't either." I say taking my full plate, dropping it in the sink, and walking back to the bedroom.

By the time she says my name, Robby Ray has made his way into the kitchen with her bags. I can hear Robby Ray get back on the phone to talk to some one about something. Somebody comes into our appartment to take her bags to the garage so they can pull out avoiding the paparazzi. Miley doesn't say a thing.

Robby yells something like, "Hurry Up." As I hear footsteps come closer to the bedroom door. She walks in and looks at me on the bed with my laptop.

"I love you." She says taking a breath. "Things between us are getting worse and I have no idea how to fix them." Her voice sounds like she's going to cry making me choke up slightly, not wanting to know what's coming. "I think we need a break." She says with slight confidence. She doesn't even wait for my response as she turns to leave. I look up to her finally, noticing she's standing, her back to me, waiting for me to stop her. I don't. She leaves, the door slams.

I love you, Miley Stewart. I just can't believe I agree with you.


	3. Trying To Fold

You guys are awesome! So thanks for being awesome. **Enjoy**!

Some extra info: Oliver is a famous Actor, he's also on the verge on becoming an alcoholic like his father. He's dating a local musician Ally. Ally has wavy black hair, brown eyes, tan skin, and a little taller than Lilly.

* * *

(Miley is in Nashville getting ready for a the city's Bob and Sheryl Show interview. Her face doesn't have much emotion but sadness on it as she waits to be called out onto the show. She checks her phone and her dad comes beside her)

**Miley POV:**

"So what are you going to tell them about the dating situation" my dad asks like the world depended on it.

"Dad, everyone knows who I'm with" I say. Maybe not so much 'with'.

"Yes." He says disappointed. "But not everyone knows that your, ye know."

"That I'm gay?" I say looking out onto the set.

"Yeah", he scratches his head. "Maybe you can sort of…" I look at him not wanted to even hear what he was possibly going to finish that statement with. He continues "…Tell'em you're still kind of into boys." I look away from him.

"Miles, ye know I love you. Just I want you…" he tries to retract.

"You just want my album to go platinum." I say coldly.

"Miley, don't ever…" he starts sadly. And right on cue.

"Let's bring out Miley Cyrus, the pop sensation and Nashville's own star, onto our stage."

(Miley puts on a smile, gets a very loud applause as she walks onto the stage, greets the hosts, and waves back to the crowd. They all take their seat on the stools in front of a screen showing Nashville's countryside.)

"So, Miley I hear someone's putting out a new album." Bob asks. This was officially going to take forever.

"That's me", I say, trying to not convey that I didn't want to be there at all. I kind of didn't want to be anywhere.

"Is it weird not being 'Hannah Montana' anymore?" Sheryl asks.

"I think it's more liberating. Ye know, getting to be myself." I smile out. They both nod like they're interested.

"So do you like being back in Nashville?" Bob inquires.

"I love it, it's actually perfect weather now…"

"What's your favorite thing to do, when you're not making platinum records?" Sheryl asks smiling weirdly cutting my answer off.

"I like to ride the horses we have at our house here. I love eating the good food my grandma makes. Seeing family I haven't seen in a while."

"How long are you here for?" she asks.

"Um, I think four more days. Yeah, four." They both look towards the camera, meaning a commercial break was coming.

"Well, we'll have more with the Nashville native, Miley Cyrus, after these messages." Bob gets in, the crowd claps, and I wave again to the audience.

Commercial break just consisted of the make up people coming out and touching up, some one handing me a water bottle. I just sort of observe them. They don't even talk to each other, Bob and Sheryl I mean, they just pretend to be in their own worlds, it's actually kind of sad. Being next to somebody all day and having no interest for who they were.

The make-up people scurry as the count down is given. All three of us look at the camera. 3, 2, 1.

"And we're back with Miley Cyrus, back in Tennessee, to record for her new album." He turns to face me. I look at him. "So, Miley, have you picked a name for the new album yet?" he asks.

"I haven't really gotten to that stage yet, but I think maybe a one or two word thing." I say lying but their fake smiles didn't waver.

"Maybe something like 'Who's Hannah?'" Bob jokes, Sheryl hits him slightly, we all share a very fake laugh. "Oh, Bob." Sheryl says returning with a question.

"So, Miley, do you have any Hollywood crushes?"

Does the girl I kind of broke up with count? Do I make everybody happy? Or do I make that one person who probably won't see this interview, who is probably is not thinking of me, who probably still loves me and wants to work this out? Oh, god what did I do?

"Um, I have to say a have a slight crush on…" I could tell everybody in the audience was waiting for my answer. "Brad Pitt" The crowd is still silent as Sheryl responds quite surprised herself. She wasn't the only one.

"Wow, Brad Pitt, he is a very attractive man." She says looking around to the audience than back to me.

"Yes he is." I say, not believing the words spewing from my mouth.

"So, your still with Lilly? For almost three years? Is that right?" Bob asks very serious. The audience surprisingly gets their 'aw' and 'good for her faces' on while I answer.

"Yeah, two years and ten months." I say smiling truthfully.

"That is a long time. Since you were…?" Bob asks openly.

"Twenty." I finish. Wow, has it really been three years.

"Now, I understand there's a little riff between your dad and her." Sheryl states. "Little?" I accidently say out loud. The audience laughs, like it's a joke.

"I mean any dad is going to always want the best for his daughter, and nobody's perfect, so there might be a slight riff, but nothing I don't believe him getting to know her more and getting to see why I love her won't fix." I say almost showing my sadness.

The audience makes an audible 'aw' and then applauses.

"Well we wish the best for you two and Good luck on the new album, we can't wait to have you back in Nashville again." Sheryl says politely

"Thank you for having me. It's good to be home." I say back. GET ME OUT OF HERE.

"Coming up next, Youtube replacing t.v.? And our favorite game 'Where in the U.S.? After this commercial break." Sheryl continues.

We get the signal. I shake hands with Bob and Sheryl before leaving the set. I get escorted to the car and we're off to the studio.

The next couple days felt like agonizing torture, as I would leave here, go there, sign this, smile, just realizing how much of a mistake everything was.

Let's take a break…What an idiot.

**Lilly's POV:**

(Lilly stands against a rail on a cat walk, above a gathering crowd in front of the stage. She wears a leather jacket over a red tee, with black jeans. Her hair hangs loosely in a pony tail falling over her left shoulder. Her sadness looks like loneliness and her eyes fall like weights to the ground.)

The last two nights had been a marathon of memories. My mind ran through the first time her smile warmed my heart, the first morning we woke up together, the first time we kissed, the first time we laid down making true love, entangling our souls for timeless passion. But I also had to walk through our first fight, meeting her dad, the long tours and nights, the first time I got kicked out, the last time I was happy. Everything had a con, but my heart was still in love.

Oliver offered me a night to get my mind off of things. Ally's group was playing at a local venue and they were head-lining. He didn't have to tell me verbally what his opinion was on the situation. I knew he thought I should be with someone else.

A thoughtless night of drinks and music lay before me.

Some one puts their hand on my shoulder startling me. I turn to view Oliver with shots in his hands.

"Cheers?" he asks lifting a smile.

"You know I drove my motorcycle here?" I ask back as he leans his back against the rail, like me.

"The motorcycle, Miley got you?" he counters innocently. "Take the shot." He says lifting the shot up in front of me.

I take it and hold it in my hand examining the contents, which was definitely something hard by its deep dark brown color. He puts his hand on my shoulder, taking his shot. The taste brings noticeable disgust to face. I do the same.

The opening act was a solo acoustic act. It sucked but Ally's band was actually very good. Her vocals were quite astounding and the way she worked the crowd was even more amazing. I had another beer but that was it, as I stood lonely watching the band play. I didn't move much from my location and I didn't socialize either. Watching Ally reminded me of Miley more than anything. So the night didn't exactly accomplish the main goal.

"Miley texted me today." He says looking towards me. I quickly raise my eyes to his.

"She said 'please don't hate me. I know Lilly will run to you for advice and you don't like me anymore, but I AM still in love with her.'" He says taking his eyes away from mine. "You wanted to know how I responded?" he says as he takes shots from a passing waitress and downing one, handing the other to me.

I didn't want to know. The last two times we had gone out with Oliver he had put Miley on the verge of tears. I hated him for that but the bottle made his feelings surface.

"I told her 'Just let go'" He says proudly turning his glare back to me. Swallowing my shot without a change of face. I don't say a word and turn around towards the stage, he does the same. "I'm just looking out for you." He says still looking for reaction.

"Looking out for me? You're telling some one I love to leave me?!?" I say looking at him in disbelief.

"Yeah, but Lil…" he says explaining.

"I can look out for myself." I say coldly. "I don't need some drunk." I say even colder, not looking him in the eyes.

"Oh, I'm a drunk?" he says like I was joking, then grits his teeth with a declining smile to show the true hurt of my words.

"I'm drunk enough to see you're not happy." He says turning around to leave.

"Why don't you get another drink, Oliver! Just like your dad." I say, knowing he might beat the shit out of me because I mentioned his father. He turns around violently, raising his fist, stopping in front of my face.

"You know what Lilly, when you were pushing your nose through pounds of coke, it amazed me how selfish you could be. How you could snort that shit and become friends with those people. People you watched die because of it. Hell, you even wound up in the hospital. I watched you fall apart at the seams once. It only took one time. And I promised myself one thing as I carried your lifeless body from your apartment to the hospital. One thing. That if you lived, I would NEVER let you EVER be that Lilly again…you don't want my help…I get that. I know I need help but I also know…" he says finishing in realization. My eyes draining with tears, his brimming.

"I also know that…I wasn't the one who saved you…I don't what to tell you and I don't know how to save you." He says defeated.

He rubs his eyes and walks away from me. Put in my place or somewhere near it. I wipe the snot and my tears from my eyes like an embarrassed child in public.

I walked out into the sticky night, reaching my bike, putting my helmet on my head, getting on my bike. I rev the engine and kick back the kick stand. Driving through the busy streets of L.A.

I walk into the dark apartment not bothering to turn the lights on. The phone rings, I look at the cable box clock that reads 1:37. I pick it up.

"Hello?"

"Lilly" a smile works across my face before I speak coldly.

"Why are you calling?"

"I'm sorry, I know, I just…I couldn't sleep." She says like she can feel my death stare.

"Isn't it like 3:30 in Nashville?" I ask normally.

"Yeah…"she says like she's happy I'm talking to her. I can't really force myself to get mad, I miss her.

"What'd you do today?" I ask, taking a seat on the couch.

"Ate food and went to the studio. Fun stuff." She says plainly like it was stuff she didn't enjoy. It makes me laugh because those are some of her favorite things to do. I can almost feel her smile through the phone as she explains seriously.

"Nothing is fun, when we're like this" I can feel my heart try to beat but Oliver's cuts were still laced on it.

"Is it stupid, how still like this, I would give anything just to see you." I say showing my loneliness.

"It's definitely not stupid, I want your arms to wrap around me." She says sadly.

_**What in this world**_

_**Keep us from tearing apart**_

"I thought you wanted a break." I say defensive, not trying to sound like an ass hole.

"I was…I was just…trying to hold on to you." She says knowing those aren't the right words.

"By pushing me further away?" I ask confused.

"I don't know, Lilly! I 'm stupid. I just want you, I just want us!" she states with her voice cracking. Silence.

"Me too." Escapes my mouth almost not audible. She hears me.

"What did ye do tonight?" she asks unsure.

"Saw Ally's band at Field." I say almost teary remembering what Oliver said.

_**No matter where I go I hear**_

_**The beating of your heart**_

"With Oliver I'm guessing?" she asks in the same voice.

"…Yeah."

"How's he doing?" she asks trying to be nice. She always was. It was something I found most attractive about her.

"Good." I lie, she can tell as she pushes me.

"What happened?"

"I called him a drunk like his dad. And…and he brought up my freshman year." I admit weakly.

I can feel her just remembering that year. A year I'd rather not bring to light. My dad's funeral, Miley going off on a world tour for Hannah the next day, Oliver leaving a month later, for his first movie. My mom moved without leaving a number or an address, my sister was studying abroad in Mexico. I felt abandoned, I was alone.

_**I think about you**_

_**When the night is cold and dark**_

So I did drugs, got fucked up, managed to pass my classes while pissing all the money my dad left me. Oliver came back but I ignored his calls. The next time he saw me he had to break into my apartment and drag me to the hospital for overdosing on that shit.

Miley was the first person I saw when I woke up. I didn't want anyone to see me, especially Miley. I could feel her heart sink and the pain gather as she looked at my barely recognizable frame. I remember her first words she said, "Lilly, don't leave me. I love you." like an angel, running her fingers through my hair. We started dating the next year. Her dad had thrown it in my face on several occasions and although I felt like I didn't deserve it, I took it.

Miley POV:

I was in denial whenever this was brought up. Lilly was one of the strongest people, one of the smartest, one of the most loving people I've ever met. When I would call from tour, she sounded fine, but I guess I was just hopeful. Then hearing her tell me everything she had did, how stupid and weak she was. It broke my heart, I was torn inside but had to be strong for her. I would call Oliver crying, but Oliver would cry, neither of us as strong. Lilly noticed this and just tried to rebuild her life herself. Sometimes she didn't need anyone, but we…I needed her.

_**No one can move me**_

_**The way that you do**_

"Sorry…" I say not knowing what to say. I couldn't believe she was still talking to me.

"Don't be."

"I'm still sorry, you don't deserve that."

"I'm gonna go to sleep." She says hurt.

"Okay…I love you." I say desperately just wishing for those words to return through this phone.

"I love you, too, goodnight." She says warmer.

"Night" she hangs up after the word leaves my mouth. I put the phone back and take a lay on top of the hotel suite bed. Lilly Truscott, I love you.

_**Nothing erases the feeling between me and you  
**_

_**-"I Drove All Night"- Cyndi Lauper**_

* * *

_**  
**_

I know darkish, but I thought it would be better because no body lives a cookie cutter life.

Tell me what ye think.


	4. Where There's A Possibility

I'm also putting out a new chapter for 'Friends For Love' my other Liley fic.

I know it has been quite some time since I've updated, but I hope ya'll are pleased with the new installment. P.S. there will be another one in like two days, who knows with my accounting homework. lol but it will definitely be less than a week.

This chapter is about Lilly's past and the creation of their relationship.

* * *

4 years ago(It's around 4 AM and Lilly is coming home from the club)

_I open the door to my apartment barely sober enough to stand. I take a step forward but fall back slightly, which conveniently closes my door. I really keep trying to walk straight but my body is on a whole other level of high. I went out with people I probably shouldn't have started hanging around to begin with. _

_They were what I liked to call bored kids. They weren't necessarily from bad families or bad kids, they were just always bored, thus the name. And bored kids are the easiest to influence and the kids most likely to pick up a really bad drug habit. I was never a bored kid, I don't spend all of my time trying to waste time, I just on occasion need to forget all of the bullshit my life is sitting on. Everything I was doing was just completely dumb and stupid and all I kept waiting for is some one to stop me. Some one to say 'Lilly, What are you doing? Stop.' But no. Skipping classes, going to classes high or drunk, spending all the money to my name on weed, liquor, and coke. Partying until it was time to party again. Just bullshit. _

_And in the brief moments of clarity I had, I would feel the utter and complete feeling that I was alone. Miley called once every two weeks, sometimes and Oliver called almost once a day for a while and now knew what I was doing. My sister would email me not realizing my Internet bill hadn't been paid for months. I was glad my utilities were included in my rent so I didn't smell and live like a complete addict._

_But now I wanted another fix my high was fading and I wasn't going be able to sleep if I didn't get another hit. I throw my clutch on the floor and fall to the ground. I lay there for a second, trying to make my eyes not see double. Like usual, I get angry and this time I turn over my coffee table getting myself up from the floor. I rub my nose and make my way towards the kitchen. I open most of the drawers until I find my razor. Now the search was for my stash. I check all of my pockets, slowly retrieving the small baggie from my back pocket. A small smile must be creeping on my face as I pour the contents carefully onto my kitchen counter. I pick up the razor and start cutting it up then making two lines. I brace myself knowing hitting for the third time tonight wasn't a good idea. Not like the first two times were either. I steady myself against the counter then…I remember seeing the coke was gone and trying to get to the bathroom…and then it was black._

_

* * *

  
_

Trying to open my eyes all I could see was complete white. I thought I was dead. My head started to throb and I thrash with pain. All of a sudden the white starts to part into shapes and I feel some one grabbing and holding my arm and calling for a nurse. They let go of me and I can now see…Miley? Her eyes are wet and my brain can't comprehend why, I then realize I am in a hospital. Things are still fuzzy as what I can tell is a nurse, is trying to ask me something. I close my eyes then slowly open them. Everything getting clearer now a doctor and two nurses are surrounding me. I look around them to see Miley crying. My heart begins to feel…like it was broken and poisoned. The doctor flashes a light in front of my eyes, I bat it away, and I try to get out of the bed. They grab me and stare at me.

"Do you know what your name is?" he asks and I actually have to think for a second.

"Lilly, Lilly Truscott" I say trying to calm down.

"Do you know where you are?" he asks me but I keep looking for Miley.

"A hospital?" I say as a question.

"Lilly, Lilly?" he asks repeatedly for me to look at him.

I turn my attention towards him. He's thirtyish tan with big blue eyes and super short hair.

"You overdosed. You are at Seaview Hospital. You were in a coma for about 36 hours. We need to know what you did the other night."

My first reaction was to lie. You know defend myself but I look at him then slowly look over to see Miley with a worried expression, one arm wrap around her waist and her other hand playing with collar of her shirt.

"I didn't….I, I just…" raspily comes out of my mouth as a nurse quickly gets a cup of water bringing it to my lips. I swallow and feel a shooting pain in my head. "My head. My head is killing me." I say grabbing my head with both of my hands.

"Lilly?" he says to get my attention, "We are not giving you pain killers because you're tox screen came back with an unusually high count of opiates and other pain relievers." He says too calmly staring at me with no pity. "Do you remember what you took the other night?"

I let out a long breathe and look down at my hands.

"It's better if we know exactly what you did so we can aid in your recovery."

My brain is killing me so badly I can barely make out what he's trying to say to me. I lean my head back against my pillow.

Miley leaves the room.

Another shooting pain travels through my head and drains in my heart.

* * *

Miley POV:

The pain of seeing Lilly is too much. Her confused weaken state makes her unrecognizable to the Lilly I love. The guilt of not being able to be there for her. To make the effort to comfort her. It made me feel just as helpless, that confused.

Somebody stops me in the hall by wrapping his arms around me. My knees crumble and my eyes relinquish any strength they had holding back my tears. He kneels not being able to hold himself up as well. I can feel his tears but he doesn't sob like my body does. We part slightly allowing me to notice its Oliver. Both of us having nothing to say and no idea what to do.

"She's…" I say.

"Yeah…" he replies.

We embrace each other again.

"Um…vodka…a vicodin, um…some weed…." I say every single word covered in my own disappointment.

"Is that everything?" he asks already knowing the answer is 'no'.

"More vodka and,… and coke." Barely letting coke audibly get out of my lips.

"Anything else?" he asks like he's pissed off, but to be honest I was pissed off at myself. I still wanted the drugs though. I'm starting to think I didn't actually see Miley, that maybe I was just hallucinating.

"No…" I state looking at the room's door.

"Look we need to know what you…" he says in the same tone.

"I told you already." I say honestly. He gives me a look.

"Your drug panel revealed that you had…" he continues looking at what I assume is my folder.

"If you already know then why are you asking me! You already think I'm fucking lying!" I yell, making my head hurt even more, making me lash back against my bed. "God, you can't give me a Tylenol!"

"As I said, your tox screen revealed…" he says in that same annoyed tone.

"Thank you!" I say contentiously raising myself and pointing at the folder, "I know that says I was high and doped and above the legal alcohol limit. I know!" I finish laying back down.

"I am not the one who passed out nor am I the person you should be yelling at. I go through hundreds of cases like you in weeks. I also know your head is in splitting pain because you did a lot more coke then you told me you did. I also know that you waited between smoking weed and popping pain pills and snorting coke. I also know you are going to tell me you are not addicted and can stop any time. And with what appears to be your tolerance, I highly doubt that you aren't. Now, are you going to answer me honestly or would you like to detox from your shitty habits without any medical assistance?" he says getting right in my face. I look away from him.

He keeps looking at me.

"I think…I think that night, I wasn't sure what the pills were. I took them anyway. My friends wanted to smoke so I took a couple hits, later I did the coke and then did some when I got home. " I say looking back up to him.

He finishes writing and then leaves the room. My meal comes and after barely eating anything I fall asleep.

* * *

I wake a look around. I could see a woman staring out the window in my room it must be late afternoon. She turns toward me, it's Miley. Ours eyes meet. She shuffles to the side of my bed and pulls a seat closer. She places her hands on my left hand and her face is held with a frown and her eyes glossy and red.

I lay my head back down, staring at my hand in hers.

Miley POV:

"Are you okay?" I ask knowing the second those words left my mouth that it was a dumb question. She just smiles at me and nods a slight yes.

The nurse comes in and puts the food down. She looks at me, "Could you make sure she eats more than half of this?"

I look at Lilly who looks angry at herself then I stumble a response out, "Yeah…sure"

Lilly eats the orange slices and a fourth of the sandwich, which obviously is not enough. She doesn't look at me. She just stares off in any direction I am not.

"Come on, you got to eat more." I say. She picks up her sandwich and takes a bite. She finishes the whole sandwich. Sucks down her whole apple juice cup and even eats a one of the cookies.

_I just got into town when Oliver called me frantically. I got here as soon as the ambulance arrived. The stretcher holding a pale, sweaty, and overdosed Lilly. I remember stupidly asking Oliver 'What happened to her? Was it dehydration or something?' and him looking at me 'They say it might be, that it was drugs.' He replied his eyes worried on Lilly._

_After they had stabilized her she fell into a coma. Oliver stayed while I tried to get in contact with Lilly's sister. Oliver hadn't said a word, he sat at Lilly's bed side and I sat there too. I sent Oliver to get some sleep and maybe some clothing for Lilly. I thought it was better considering he looked like he was about to lose it, not like I was any better. Then she woke._

"Lilly?" I ask wanting her attention, while it was still just her and me. I move the eating table away from her lap and take her hand in mine.

"Miley." She says looking at me. My eyes lighting up and my heart straying from the pain but then she says, "don't" releasing her hand from mine, shaking her head side to side.

"Lilly…" I say almost crying. Come on Miley don't.

"Just go." She says coldly.

"I'm not going anywhere." I say now crying, looking at Lilly's face. She looked angry. Her hair was oily and her frame scrawny.

"Stop crying." She says looking back at me but not directly in my eyes.

"Wha…Lilly, can you just tell me?" I say trying to control myself but finding it nearly impossible.

"Tell you what!?" she says now looking at me with firey eyes. "Now you want to know? What a great friend you are?!" I can see he head is starting to bother her again. She looks at the ceiling.

I say lowly sitting down, "I know, I know that I'm not exactly. That I haven't exactly been there. That I haven't cared enough. I'm sorry, I just…" her eyes tilt towards mine. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry this had to occur for me to…know. To know all of that, to know all of this." I finish without sobbing.

"I made a lot of mistakes." she lifts her head. "I don't know if I can change…or if I want to." She says honestly. My first reaction is to yell at her, to say things like, 'You want to overdose again! You're going to die! We can do this together.' But I refrain. I'm glad I do because she continues, "I know, what am I thinking?" she smiles, "I need help." She laughs to herself slightly, "I need a lot of help." I smile a sad smile back at her. "Before I say this,…I just want you to know…I love you."

She didn't tell me anything about what drugs she took, what drugs she took, why she did them. She just told me she needed to get better and that she had to do it by herself. To which I contested but then she told me we would both be better this way. I contested again but then Oliver entered, she told him and he also contested. Oliver and I last saw her boarding a plane to Massachusetts to live with her sister while in treatment. We asked her to keep in contact but she didn't.

* * *

Eight Months Later

(Miley sits at a L.A. café in her blend-in clothing, which consist of a UCLA bruins blue sweatshirt with black skinny jeans and black flops. In her over sized Marc Jacobs sunglasses, she sips her coffee at an outside table writing down some new lyrics.)

Miley POV:

A couple members of the UCLA lacrosse team enter the café with who I can only assume are their girlfriends. It was hard for me to see couples even if they were straight couples. My first girlfriend broke up with me for…get this, not being gay enough. Well that wasn't exactly the reason, but I guess I kind of saw her point along with the fact she hated how often I was gone and the whole Hannah Montana thing. So I guess if you wanted to boil it down, our break up was mostly about me.

Two tables in front of me appears a gorgeously tanned, black haired girl in basketball shorts, a white tank with a black hoodie with fake Dolce & Gabana sunglasses. Not that I'm saying anything, I mean they're nice, I guess. I slightly shorter blonde comes out with two drinks and a bottle of water. She had straight-legged black work slacks on with a red 'Yeah Yeah Yeahs' concert tee. My phone vibrates; I check it to see its Oliver asking me to go with him to a new Hollywood club. I just put it down and decide to respond later. The blacked haired runs her hand up and down the blondes arm and whispers in her ear. Great…another couple…a hot gay couple. Double sad face. I try to write something after my slight stalking.

_You're everything to me, you're everything I need, now in love I beleive… _wow that's not cliché. Double cross out.

After five minutes like that I find myself writing the word 'fail' all over my page.

I look up to see the blonde walking towards me, oh god, hopefully they don't know who I am. I try to look like I'm really into my writing.

"Hey, I know this is a little weird but…I noticed you have a blackberry and my batts running low, you wouldn't happen to have your charger on you. I promise I won't steal it, I just have work after this and…are you alright?" she stops.

No way that's Lilly. It's just a coincidence she sounds and is the relative size and shape of the Lilly you know/knew. I can feel my jaw is almost on the floor as I ask my voice thrown slightly, "Lilly?"

"Um.. yeah, Do we have a class together?" she asks smiling.

Without any regard I get up and hug her. I hug her tightly not wanting to ever let go. I take off her sunglasses and look into her eyes and hug her again. Her girlfriend has gotten up and stands besides her looking pissed but before either of them say anything I take off my glasses and let my hair down.

Her girlfriend says "Oh my god." While Lilly seems in complete shock. And I can't tell if it's exactly a good shocked.

"Miley…" she says with a slight smile. Her girl friend looks to her, "You know Miley Stewart?!? Way to tell me." She jokes, but Lilly's eyes are stuck on me.

Lilly turns to her girlfriend, "Hey, could you give us a second? Please?" she asks and "sure." she politely retracts back to their table.

Lilly goes back to shocked mode as I figure it's my turn to speak.

"You look great Lilly." I say smiling. "How are you?"

"Miley" she shakes her head in disbelief, "Oh my god. I mean, thanks." She says blushing. Her face stays stuck in shock. "I'm good, back in school. No drugs. Six months." She says kind of saddened that it isn't eight months coming out of her mouth. "You're here." She says smiling and from what I can tell, getting a little glassy eyed.

"Yeah" I say in my own state of disbelief. I hug her again. This time a little more intimate. "I'm so happy you're doing well. I'm proud of you." I say looking her in the eyes for her to know I mean every word.

"Thanks." She says it like she doesn't deserve it.

"Do you think maybe…I can come back into your life?" I ask kind of worried about the answer. Her face stays fallen.

"I think I kind of need you…back in my life." She states. Her face looks as if it was recounting our last encounter. It makes me go back as well and remember the utterly cold feeling I had not knowing and wondering if she was alright.

I start up the convo again, "Who's she?" I ask trying not to sound jealous…not that I am, why should I be.

"Megan." She says looking back at Megan smiling and waving.

"Girlfriend?" I ask, knowing I maybe shouldn't get so quizzical seeing her for the first time in nearly a year. But I still have so many questions.

"Uh, not really." She says looking down.

"Really?" I ask confused cause they had just looked quite cuddly.

"She has a girlfriend…we're kind of just sleeping together…yeah" she says kind of embarrassed, which is kind of cute.

"Oh…" I state. Awkward. Although it could be worse, I guess.

"Is it true? I don't know, I read somewhere online that you're like…gay." It is cute how she whispers the last part and her face kind of scrunches up.

I nod a yes and look at Megan, "I see you still are." I say joking, trying to keep the conversation light. She lets out a laugh as well after scratching her head.

"I did not see that coming or slash being true." She says not to insult, we both laugh.

"Yeah…Maybe, I mean I don't know if you'd want to maybe hang out and catch up tonight, or something?" I ask because there were a lot of other things I needed to say and hear. This wasn't where and what I wanted and needed to know from her.

"Uh, yeah maybe we could go to your place? I have a dorm." She asks shyly.

"Yeah, yeah totally." I give her my number. "Seven good?"

"Yeah, that sounds great." She says smiling looking down at her phone.

"I'll make dinner." I say maybe too excited. I calm it down nad I pick up my coffee and pad. "Just call me and I'll give you the directions and stuff." She nods. I grin wider, "Alright…I'll talk to you later." We hug and release.

"Yeah."

I wave to Megan. "Bye Megan, Lil." And walk away. As I do I hear Megan squeal. Her squeal makes me feel good but as soon as it fades I feel the nerves creep up on me.

I was going to be alone with Lilly for the first time in eight months. A Lilly who had been away because of drugs. The Lilly who had previously overdosed on drugs.

Tonight is either going to fill my void or push her further away, keeping her eight months plus away from me. I will do anything for that not to happen.

And I think that's why I should put off telling her I've become completely in love with her.

* * *

Whoah that was long.

Hope you enjoyed and as always tell me how you feel (in the form of a review)!

Or wait 'til the next chapter, whatever floats your boat.


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